Coming out of high school, I felt like I was on top of the world. Good grades, solid athlete (wasn’t going to play in college, but it was something to feel good about), college pretty much paid for with scholarships, I was trading stocks for some small investors and friends (which I loved), and had an all around contentment with life. I was going somewhere and I was going to make something of my life, or so I thought.
I moved into an apartment freshmen year with a bunch of high school friends. What I didn’t realize is how different we really were. I had thought we’d end up spending most of our time coming up with plans to make money or getting good at various skills, general self-improvement. What ended up happening was A LOT of drinking. Something I wasn’t used to at all. In high school, I’d drink a bit, but nothing like the 4-5 days a week that sometimes happened at our apartment. This kind of lifestyle had no ability to support any of the stuff I was doing. I didn’t do as well in school as I wanted to. I lost all the money I had made in the stock market (broke-even). I ended up giving the money back to my investors, taking out a loan to pay for crap that I didn’t really need, and basically developing a general apathy for doing anything but having ‘fun’. After I while, I decided that my previous life was better, so I moved out. (I don’t blame the apartment for any of the things that happened, I should have had a stronger will and just moved out when I realized what was about to happen.)
The only problem is that I haven’t gotten back to my previous life. I pretty much have dropped out of college. I keep telling myself that it’s so I can make some money, so I can go back to college, but I think I’m just lying to myself. Even worse, I haven’t gotten back to the stock market (hard to get investors back when I haven’t traded in a year), or done anything to improve myself. What I’m getting at is I’ve become pretty mindless, drab, lazy, and apathetic. I’m worried that if I don’t do something soon, I’ll be stuck in this rut forever. NOW is the time for change!
I don’t know what exactly I’m going to do, but I have a general idea. I’ve always had things I wanted to learn, experiences I’ve wanted to go though first hand. I think that is where I’m going to start by trying out things I’ve always wanted to, and hopefully that will give me the motivation to keep on trying to learn new stuff.
My next post will be about what my goals are and what I’m going to do to achieve them.
Thanks for stopping by!
